Math causes suicide By: Steve Gurizito
Math can be frustrating but would it really go this far? Math homework in the U.S cause junior high kids to commit suicide because of its difficulty. The news reported the tragic news and said that math homework should be less difficult. But the homework is still really hard for the kids and even makes kids use profanity and even have murderous thoughts. Some students were reported of trying to stab someone whilst screaming "F*** you! F*** you! F*** you!" We agree that homework should be reduced to a less difficult level so
incidents like this don't happen. One kid was threatening to kill themselves while screaming "I will f***ing smash this homework into s***!" while throwing pencils, that person was me. And I now lead a campaign against difficult homework to prevent this from ever happening again. This is a very bad problem in America right now. Thank you very much for reading this tragedy.
incidents like this don't happen. One kid was threatening to kill themselves while screaming "I will f***ing smash this homework into s***!" while throwing pencils, that person was me. And I now lead a campaign against difficult homework to prevent this from ever happening again. This is a very bad problem in America right now. Thank you very much for reading this tragedy.
Why Geography should be banned By: Julia Bitcas
Geography is a subject that everyone hates for good reason. Most people call it "Bulls***" while others call it "s***". Geography usually makes students get bad grades and raises stress level when at home doing homework. So please teachers have some common sense and get rid of this terrible subject. "Why do we need to know where something f**king is i have google!" yelled third grader Billy Stilton.
Why Kids should stop doing science By: John Juvenport
"Why should science be banned?" asked school Principal Lindsey Johningham, as our crew came in to investigate. There was an explosion in a school in Japan that blew up the entire school. As the eruption swallowed the town with smoke our crew was there to record the whole thing. All of the children were fine but it made the school unusable for weeks. Chemistry is now banned a Sky-port high in Los Vegas because of this horrible event
Why kids should stop remembering 911 By: John Juvenport
Kids should stop learning about 911 because it makes them cry and influences them to make stuff explode. Sometimes it makes kids say stuff like "I want to f***ing rip Obama Sin Latin's head off!" Kids who use profanity like this often cause terrorist attacks by their rage. So we should stop teaching our kids 911. It is a sad event that we should stop teaching because it makes kids really sad and depressed.
Why school should have a technology hour instead of math By: Julia Bitcas
Kids just wanna have fun. So we should take away math. I will reference to Steve Gurzito's article at the top of the page. That is just one reason why they should take it away. With the growing use of technology we should learn how to do this. But then who would do math you may ask. CALCULATORS. who wouldn't just use calculators, we do it anyway. So we should get rid of math. Also we should make technology hour and every kid should get a macbook air and be able to keep it. It all makes sense so on December 25th at 9:00 pm scream COMPUTERS RULE.
Why projects should be banned by: Alexia Weinsniper
Projects are such a hassle! why don't we do a worksheet that will teach us the same amount of things in a shorter time or just take a test. Its faster, easier, and better. "My teacher made me do a project and my partner ate it!" said ten year old student Joseph Weinsniper, as his science teacher handed him a one percent. Thirteen year old Manuel Finderset lit his book report on fire as he screamed " F***ING PROJECT!". Six year old Emily Brownington pouted as she showed her mother looked through her backpack to see she hadn't read enough books to finish her reading log. The parents of these poor, children raged against the anarchy of Principle George the VIII rejected the complaints of the patriotic parents saying that projects will not be banned and that there will be more than ever in middle school explain the tbs of projects will be sent out in sixth grade especially in language arts to torture the poor students and take out there social lives to do the projects.
Why homework should be banned by: Elphonso Juntito
"Why should homework be banned? It helps kids learn!", says principle Lucas the IV. Homework does not help kids learn in any way ever. Homework makes kids more stressed out and have less free time for kids to do other things making school their new homes. Also I like Steve Gurizito said in the first article, homework can go as far as to make kids suicide or have murderous thoughts. It also might make kids murder each other in the process of their anger against this abomination. Don't teachers get it? HOMEWORK IS COSTING PEOPLE THEIR LIVES! This abomination considered as something that "helps" kids should be burned in h***! But to be fair lets see what some kids have to say about homework maybe they like homework. Here's what 6-year old Jimmy Sunton had to say about it, "Homework die in fire!" 15-year old Tetrina Tetrisha had to say, "HOMEWORK F***ING SUCKS S***! IF I COULD, I WOULD BURN IT IN THE FIERY PITS OF H***!" Teachers around the world should RID of this murderous s*** stain!
Why do we have to dissect By: Joseph Weinsniper
Why do we have to dissect. Its disgusting. All it is is looking at animals genitals and naming them "this is the *************" said Mrs. Aidnerd and several seventh graders. threw up on the floor. As Brittany Javalin gagged "BWAGAHUGHAGA" as she through up on the floor after seeing a frogs leg twitch. We should stop doing dissection its really gross.
Why reports should be burned at the stake By: Delrick Mackel
I hate reports all you do is sit at a computer typing. " Reports are very fun!" exclaims Mr. Marblen. 8th grader Rick Vance said that "all reports should be shoved into a shredder, all i do is play cat mario!" six year old Timmy Markerson screamed" Computer break, break, DIE!" A teacher reacted to an internet video of a child throwing a Mac book air through the screen of their home computer and lighting it on fire. The teacher said " how could someone be so destructive to their own home!" Reports are still being issued worldwide so we need to stop them!
Why history teaches assassination By: Justin Bysnord
Boom. Headshot. Well now i know how to assassinate in a theater. Thanks John Wilkes Booth. So why do teachers want to teach us this. Does anyone care about it i might as well pay assassins creed IV black flag it'll teach me just as much as school can about history. Oh some guy in powdered wig died. Do i care that he died. No i dont. 5 year old Jimmy Windsnap said" i dont cawe about histowy. So Why do we have to do it."I think we should all use Jimmy as a perfect example. Thank you for your time with me.
Geography? More like Snobraphy! By: Kate Furtsman
Geography is a tough subject for kids to learn. It is very boring making it hard to not want to shoot yourself in the head with a gun. It is also a hard subject for kids to learn with disabilities. Geography homework is said to be one of the most stressful pieces of s*** to ever exist in the universe because the homework is very time lapsing and causes murder and suicide and sexual behavior. Kids who do geography turn into mean lean sex machines.
SATANIC RITUALS IN SCHOOL By: Delrick Mackel
This is Delrick Reporting that OUR SCHOOL IS MAKING US PERFORM SATANIC RITUALS!!! I have proof too. In gym, on our first day the teachers made us do a activity where we gathered in a group of five in a circle. We had to throw the ball in a star and it formed "the sign" so DO not to throwing activities in gym because now you know what you will be performing!
Staying Up late with a partner doing a project is fun? By: Joseph Weinsniper
Me and my partner Anthony had to do a project on the magnifying glass. It was so boring, why do we have to do this is probably what both of us thought at one point. We stayed up till eleven doing the project. I realized that it was fun though after because it was kind of like having a sleepover being able to see him and talking to him, and we were whispering like we were trying to be sneaky, it was so fun and I highly recommend to every teacher that all projects should be partners that would be the best thing a teacher could do to make projects not as bad (If you haven't already go read my twin sisters article why projects should be banned) That is what it should be. Dont you agree. Oh hey I'm a poet and i didn't even know it. HAHA!
Why do I have to go to school By: Kate Furtsman
Why do i have to go to school, its boring and i don't learn anything. "There are so many people book checking and being total idiots" says Sixth grader Joseph Weinsniper. "There all weasels and I'm a majestic weasel that flies through the sky smashing eagles and having dance parties on the corpses. Wait this isn't related... Yes it is I hate school i don't wanna go there. happy!" Yes i am Joseph really thanks ( i dont care at all) Thank you for looking at my we hate school in general storie!
Porn found on kids computers is bad? by: Justin Bysnord
Is porn really that bad? Just like Kate Furtsman said, pornagraphy in geography was acceptable. So why is porn bad? Its not. It is 100% scientifically confirmed that porn helps kids get a social life and even a girlfriend, or boyfriend. Gay porn or normal porn helps educate kids minds. So teachers should allow porn for students to watch. Thank you for reading this reasonable debate
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Confirmed eagles are pretty dumb By: Jack Guitner
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Hi name is crazyman Jack and I am here to confirm that eagles aren’t as smart as some schools think. One particular incident involved some teacher saying that eagles can learn foreign languages. Unless you are stupid or incredibly high, this is not a fact. You would never hear an eagle say “Hey f*** you man!”. If you heard this you would probably s*** yourself. Anyways back to the topic. This is important because tree huggers or incredibly dumb people with the lowest IQ would believe this s***. This is why we should take down eagles and make sure they don’t exist anymore. Crazyman Jack out of here.
Kids who watch violent videos become violent By: Steve Gurizito
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Violent videos make kids violent 100% true! They are gruesome and make me want to f***ing die! Here is a example of a violent/inappropriate/racist/and sexist videos by you tubers named "Smosh".
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Schools are Sexist By: Donovan Abrahon
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Donny here reporting that have you looked around your school lately. Have you seen many different teachers different than girls. No you haven’t, there are probably only girls are better than boys going through principles minds. So do you think these schools hand pick the Woman teachers and make sure theres only 3 or 5 places left for the Male teachers? There are lots of different people so why don’t you choose them? So thats my story on how schools are SEXIST Donny signing out.
Online bullies and bloggers by: Julia Bitcas
Online bullies are dirty,lazy and stupid. They have no life! There was a guy who started this entire online bully thing, I told him he was stupid, he was a moron. I have issues with people who are being online bullies and bloggers to me. They are used to getting things for free, it's disgusting! Online bullies bully me, and other students in our school its moronic. I lead a campaign against online bullies, haters, and bloggers. I want to kill them all. I saw a group of them and I said "F*** you all! you can't say things like this! It's ridiculous!" So please come and join me in this campaign against online bullies.
WHY KIDS SHOULD NOT SEARCH UP CREEPYPASTA! By : Donavon Abrahon
Donny here to tell you that the school has given Mac books to kids. So what do you think they will first search up, CreepyPasta. The picture explains it all. So in conclusion kids will get scared to S### and it will blow there F###ing minds that people want to scare people like this F###ing so badly that the parents will get B####y about it. Donny signing out.
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Stop talking about Bullying! : Jack Guitner
So many schools do this and it is getting f***ing annoying. I mean seriously no one is getting bullied anymore. The worst bullies are cyberbullies which are very active but actual bullies. No thats not happening f***head. Some guy might have said you were a B****,but seriously stand up for yourself. If I got a response like that I would probably say “ No Missouri you are indeed the B****. I have no correlation with you, you unmannered swine. Why don’t you go home and cry to your mommy you little baby.” Back to the topic. It isn’t the 80s anymore. It not like we walk you walk up the hall and then suddenly someone punches you in the f***ing face and goes “Give me your lunch money you son of a B****” This is getting ridiculous I know you kids are smart because I say f*** a lot and you’re okay with that. So if you are smart and…… what the f***. HEY NO RETARDS ALLOWED! God people just don’t learn. Unless you are a dumb f*** and actually think eagles can speak f***ing english I am pretty sure you know that bullying is not a serious problem anymore. You might be like “Well one time” Yeah I get it , but it was one time okay. One f***ing time okay. OKAY! Sorry I just I need a break. See you guys next time Crazyman Jack out. HEY WHERE’S MY F***ING COFFEE!
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School f***ing sucks! By: Jack Guitner
Crazyman Jack here and you may be like “Wow so soon” and if you are those people….. F*** you. Seriously though what can I bring up that hasn’t been said about school. There are so many people who hate that they already came up with so many reasons that it sucks. It differs from person to person yeah, but all the reasons are still good. I will bring up many ideas that I came up with. Of course they aren’t original, but they are still funny as S***. First off, teachers. Okay, okay calm your nips.It depends on who you have as a teacher. The worst teacher I had was Ms. Comb. ( This isn’t the exact way to spell it, but it sounds like it.) With a name like that you think she would be working at a hair salon. I don’t know why she was the worst teacher, but she just was. Okay number 2, classes with honors. Okay we got the usual shtick. Math, Social Studies (Which is not social in any way so What the ****), and …...Wait, WTF. Who came up with honors anyways. I get it the class is on a higher level than the others, but unless you’re a ****ing retard who would laugh while shoving a light bulb up his ***, while a fire goes on in his room. You would realize that the non- honors classes do more work than the honors kids. This makes some sense I mean if you climb up a mountain you wouldn’t come back down and climb it up again. You would stay there relax and have a hard (but not too similar to the climbing) trek down. This is all I have to say for now, Crazyman Jack out.
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Why do missing assignments matter By: Joseph Weinsniper
Why do missing assignments matter they literally have a** in the name. Its basically testing what we know. why do you need to know if you are teaching us all about it. Im pretty sure if i listened in class i know what your talking about. B**** don't you dare repeat it again so deal with it. I listened and what would i be able to screw around with without you knowing and bringing me into the hall. I know i don't normally have to bleep out my own words ( because i have nothing to bleep out) but (cough noise) Why do i have to deal with these f**king assignments they are a pain in the a** like who gives two s***s about them anyway! It doesn't matter Ill just fail the fricken test! Thank you for putting up with my complaints.
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Annoying Kids By : Kate Furtsman
We all know who that annoying kid is in your class, maybe gym(looks over at Joseph) Maybe science (looks at Steve) and maybe, just maybe yourself (looks in a mirror) but there is always the kid who gets the whole class a detention or gets you held after class for being "rowdy" really who uses that word looks at oldest teacher in the school, We all know who this one kid is though or a group of them(looks at schedule sees Steve,Joseph,Jack,and Donavon are in her class) NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Stupid Poetry By: Justin Bysnord
HOW HAVING FRIENDS IN CLASS CAN GET YOU SCREWED. : } By Donavon Abrahon
Donny here are you always talking to your friends in class. Well if you don't you know those people though. So when you hear them get in trouble you laugh but if you're the one right next to them its F***ing annoying right. So (looks at script) if you're the person doing the talking wait for the teacher and those stupid pink sheets to come at you. (Looks at classmates sees hes sitting next to his best friends Steve, Joseph, Jack, and Kate “which he thinks she doesn't like him” are in his class.) I'm F***ing screwed so help. (Yells Out) JUST GIVE ME THE DETENTION NOW!!!!!!!
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Why School should just be video games : By Donavon Abrahon
VIDEO GAMES
Donny here back with a article that you will love. Don’t you think classes are boring as H***. I thought so my argument is that we should stop F***ing homework and have kids play minecraft and Assassins Creed in class. So in gym platformers or co op games. In science RPGs or Alchemy. Social Studies any game based on history. In math minecraft. In art Mario Paint. In Spanish uhhh I don't F***ing know god. Literature would be Sim games. Last lunch would be anything you can think of. I have asked kids about this subject and they agree. So thats my story on why classes should just be video games so thats me Donny signing off. |
Fun Facts with Jack BY:Jack Guitner
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Did you know texting can improve your reading and writing skills? So if you are in school and you are caught texting and the teacher takes your phone away. Don’t allow that ! Take back your phone and punch him in the ****ing face. Did you know that gum helps relieve stress and tension? The military use gum to stay sharp. Gum also increases memory up to 35%. If some bull**** a** teacher tries to take away your gum. Stand up to yourself and kick him in his ****. If it a lady kick her in the face. That usually seems to work. Last of all, did you know you know that doodling can increase your concentration. So if any of your teachers tells you to stop doing any of these you should whack them in the face. If you do I will personally pat you on the back; and maybe a slap in the face for following my advice.